Photograph by Quang Nguyen Vinh via Pexels

Our calendars tell us that from the beginning of fall through winter and to the end of spring, we are expected to attend school, work at home, or go someplace to work. After toiling for 9 months, summer is our respite reward! We go on vacation, drop off at camp, and for many families, we have reunions. Families getting together for a reunion has become more important because we often don’t live in the same town anymore, let alone in the same state. In fact, many families have members living across the country. This is true for our family.

As a native Bostonian, I was raised to believe that I didn’t need to live anywhere else because it was the “Hub of the Nation!” But our family no longer lives in the same place. We have two units in California and one in North Carolina. I am far from Boston now.

When we don’t get together, it doesn’t take long for us to begin to drift away and begin to develop and harden our particular ways of life. It’s true that with today’s media technologies, we can talk online to catch up on news. But I wonder if we ever move from just the exchange of information to deeper thoughts and intimacy unless we see one another in the flesh. As we proclaim, God knows us and we only know God because Jesus Christ came in the flesh.

In July, we, a family of 12 (2 grandparents, 2 adult children and their spouses, and 6 grandchildren ages 13-21) came together for our most recent reunion in the San Francisco Bay Area. In 2008, we had our first official reunion and since then we have been meeting about every two years. We have gathered on both coasts as well as in the middle of the country. 

The idea of a family reunion is fraught with conflicts and disharmony, reinforced by Hollywood movies and TV sitcoms. Even if we may not have any profound disagreements, we can often expect them. I like to say that our family is generally okay with each other, but it’s only because we work hard at it that we can have reunions in the end! Simply because our family households live and thrive in different parts of the country, day in and day out, it is only a matter of time before different interests, convictions, and habits begin to form.

Some members of my family like to vacation by sitting still, while others like to be on the move. Being the oldest of my family, my goal was to create an itinerary that would balance these two polarities as well as to seek one time each day that we are all together. That’s a reunion! To achieve this, I have been drafting “Understandings” before we meet. I have been coming up with “12 Understandings” that were sent out to each person and then reviewed together on our first day.

• Recognizing that we are older and more capable than before.
• Acknowledging that we have personal lifestyles that reveal our uniqueness and the reunion is a time to become re-acquainted.
• The schedule is set but there will always be flexibility when situations arise.
• There’s one activity each day when we are expected to be together while others are optional.
• Those who are still working may need to respond to work-related matters.
• Meals can be “Eat Out, DoorDash, or Home Cooked,” but since everyone is on vacation, no one should feel obligated to make a meal.
• Finally, our reunion had a theme of family heritage of culture, history, and racial identity.

After 8 days, we had a successful reunion and each family returned to their respective home places!

One of the most familiar family reunions in the Bible is when Joseph was separated from his father Jacob in Egypt for over 20 years, and they finally came back together in Goshen. When his family came to the land of Goshen, “Joseph made ready his chariot and went up to meet his father Israel (Jacob) in Goshen. He presented himself to him, fell on his neck, and wept on his neck a good while. Israel said to Joseph, ‘I can die now, having seen for myself that you are still alive.’” (Genesis 46:29-30)

Joseph and Jacob reunited and were never separated from each other again until Jacob’s death.

Another reunion story is the Prodigal Son who returns after being away from home and is welcome back into the arms of his father. In both of these Biblical stories, there was trouble. Joseph’s brothers sold him to Egypt and the Prodigal Son’s waywardness led him down a miserable path. But when the reunions happened, all was forgiven and relationships were rebuilt and long lasting.

It’s safe to say that there’s no such thing as a perfect family that gets along all the time. As long as we have our own interests and ideas, we’ll discover quickly how we can find ourselves on opposite sides of any topic. But isn’t that what makes each one of us special and interesting to become familiar with again?

When the world has increasingly become digital and isolated from human communities, planning a family reunion can lead to deeper family life — and truth be told, potentially family conflicts too. But the benefits and rewards of a more meaningful and engaged family life are all worth it. I think about the Day of Pentecost when people touched by the Holy Spirit who didn’t speak the same language were able to understand each other. Being together in the Spirit led them to eat together and share their resources with each other so that in the end, they cared for each other.

There is an old campfire ditty that sings, “The more we get together, the happier we’ll be!” Maybe you might get together with your family this year like we have, and I pray that you will also be happier.