Photograph by Crew via Unsplash

Whatever your job and your age, you don’t have unlimited time, energy, or resources. We all have to work within constraints, external and internal. For church employees and volunteers, churches have budgets, histories, and a finite number of people. Church people have expectations that create constraints. And let’s be honest: some of those expectations are not realistic. People are anxious. They want to unload their anxiety on you. And they want you to fix it (whatever “it” is). That takes energy and time.

I love the many YouTube videos about Veronica, an office worker. Veronica is absolutely clear about boundaries. She says she is willing to check email after working hours. But she wants an extra stipend to account for the extra time. She doesn’t get a promotion but then is asked to train the person who did get the job. She says, “If I’m not qualified for the position, I’m not qualified to teach someone who’s more qualified than me.” In every case, Veronica refuses to take on her manager’s anxiety.

Veronica offers a lesson even for those not working in a corporate setting. The classic line is, “Don’t make someone else’s emergency your emergency.” There are real emergencies, but not as many as we think. In ministry, a critical incident in a family’s life may call for immediate pastoral attention. But frequently others are simply anxious and want to share their anxiety. They want you to do something (right now!) to alleviate it. Setting boundaries with anxious people is an essential part of the job.

In addition, you have internal constraints in relation to your work. You have family commitments. You only have so much energy. You can create some boundaries around work for yourself. One pastor I know has this email signature: “Email unattended Friday, Saturday, and anytime past 5 p.m.” He says, “I’ve found it helpful to create expectations around email, especially since people in the parish will often write to me when they are available (evenings and weekends) and it may take me a day to reply. I like to do my email in batches. I read them mid-morning, and reply mid-afternoon.”

Work expands to fill the time allotted. I recommend that the clergy I coach set an ending time for their working day. Of course, unexpected things can come up that mean you can’t stop at that time. However, if you are always working longer than you plan, you will wear yourself out. I notice I think faster when I have a deadline, like the Christian Citizen article deadlines. You can do this for yourself, or ask someone else to hold you accountable.

Whatever the external constraints, I want to look at what is within my control. You can ask, given this reality, what choices do I have about this work?