Photograph by Priscilla Du Preez 🇨🇦 via Unsplash

“One of the most rewarding aspects of living in a strange land is the experience of being loved not for what we can do, but for who we are.” [1] Henri Nouwen

Henri Nouwen’s quote refers to experiences he had living in Latin America. I can resonate with his statement. Being loved not for what we can do but for who we are should be an important ethical practice in any culture. There is a great emphasis on la comunidad (community) in the Latin American culture. Familia, which means family in English, is often used to emphasize this point. For instance, if you go to restaurants in Puerto Rico, most of the time servers will welcome you saying, bienvenidos familia. They want guests to feel they are at home when they are eating with their friends or families. This emphasis is often shared by Latino/as in their communities and churches in the U.S. In his book Walk with the People, Dr. Juan Francisco Martinez states,

Many Latino churches have grasped the concept of the church as family or community. The churches are places where people who are far from families and communities can find support and relationships. The churches serve a point of encounter and places where needy people can find help for spiritual, social, physical, and emotional needs. The churches are also working to walk with broken families and to strengthen families that are working well.[2]

I had that experience when I was a pastor in a Latino community in White Plains, NY. The importance of accompanying those in need was greatly emphasized. Regardless of whether it was a memorial service or a birthday celebration, the church was always present. The Hispanic Heritage Month celebration was one of the church’s most significant events. The church celebrated its Hispanic heritage on a separate Sunday and had a Latino-themed lunch after the service. Everyone was invited, and the most important thing was that you could see love in the community, no matter who you were. It was great for me to gain experiences from both my own Latino culture and other cultures.

In 2015, I made the decision to continue my theological studies in the United States. After a lengthy deliberation, I opted to attend Andover Newton Theological School (ANTS) in Newton Centre, Massachusetts. My lack of familiarity with the area and my poor English skills caused me to be terrified at the time. Yes, I felt strange even though I believed that there were no obstacles to learning other cultures in an educational experience. Upon arriving on campus, I saw Dr. Sarah Drummond, Academic Dean at the time. In her broken Spanish she said, “Abner, hola hermano, ¿cómo estás?” I was surprised because it was my first time meeting her. Since then, she always tries to say something in Spanish when she greets me. From the beginning, we were bilingual. However, we both tried to communicate in our second language so that the other person would not feel strange.

Despite Spanish being its primary language, the Latino community in the United States has diverse language practices across generations. Spanish is the primary language for the first generation of Latino/as. Due to their intercultural ways of living, the second generation tend to adopt the English language more. The third and fourth generations have a greater affinity for U.S. culture, and their main language is English. “Spanglish” describes the result of mixing both languages in speech. The educational experience and interactions with fellow students and faculty were a great challenge for me, a first-generation person coming from Puerto Rico. However, I have to say that my experience that year in that unfamiliar part of the world was a blessing to me thanks to the warm welcome I received from many good people from other cultures. What could I offer at the time? I do not know. But I surely know that I felt loved.

The process of transferring from ANTS to Yale Divinity School (YDS) in 2016 was filled with mixed emotions for me. After receiving the email confirming my acceptance, I went to Dr. Drummond’s office. I told her, “I want to let you know that I love Andover Newton.” She replied, “and Andover Newton loves you.” Andover Newton’s embedded process with YDS at the time of my transfer allowed me to stay connected with them. I served as the convener of the founders of Andover Newton Seminary at Yale and have been a member of the Advisory Council for almost five years.

When I reflect on my experience as a Latino in the United States, Henri Nouwen’s quote becomes logical to me. For the Latino community of faith, offering others the sense of belonging “not for what I can do but for who I am” is one of the greatest principles we can have, not only because it comes from our culture, but also from our faith.